"one" in billion
Yet another beautiful stuff that i came across one of these days.
I've seen castles made out of sand,
Met people who believe destiny is engraved on d palm of their hands.
I've seen people who change their faith,
Experienced love ; change into hate.
I've seen people grow younger with age,
And a bird who wouldn't fly out of an open cage.
I've seen love sold for money,
People who are devastated inside but outside they're funny.
I've seen unicorn fal in love with a toad,
People who owned half d city have nw hit the road.
Ive learnt 2 expect the unexpected,
Perfection doesnt exist, we all are born defected.
Everyone cries,some just hide their tears,
They say coal turns diamond over a thousand years..
For some you are just another 'nobody' in a million. But someone may believe you are the 'one' in a billion !
Beautiful Poem
I get up and out of bed,
Try to forget all those things we said.
It's now over for good,
I promised myself to leave it right there here I stood.
People always tell me things will get better,
But I find myself writing you half a letter.
How did we fall so far apart,
You left me not knowing where to start.
I am here now trying to find out how to survive,
And struggling to just keep myself alive.
I remember when you were a hero in my eyes,
You were always there to give me a surprize.
But those are just long lost memories of mine,
Maybe this is our life design.
I spent so many days cold and lonely,
I believed that you were my one and only.
There are some things in my head I'll take to my grave,
But it won't be all that love that I gave.
You made me so emotionless,
And you gave me all this stupid stress.
I try to believe in things I can't see,
But is there even hope for me!
My back is up against a wall,
And it's hard for me to keep standing tall.
Life just isn't worth it anymore,
You left me standing at the door.
You said it's time to say goodbye,
And I just wondered... why?
Labels: Why
Not "PERFECT" but definitely not "FAKE"
Staring into my own eyes, I wonder,
What is that people dig out in these?
My eyes have not changed,
But, expressions have definitely
Looking at my snaps, I wonder,
Why is gloom written all over my face?
There have been snaps & days,
When a smile would lighten-up my face.
Listening to friends over phone, I wonder,
Has the juice in my life drained?
But then, thoughts of my friends remain
Why have always wanted me to change?
Is it all about partying late night?
Or about dating a guy?
Is it about shopping at those branded stores?
or about drowning yourself in booze
All of this is so artificial, i feel
And I'm happy the way i live.
May be gloomy for a while,
for the events that changed my life.
Its not about being hep and happening,
Its always about being happy with memories of my lost loved ones.
I wish i could meet someone,
who would take me for what I'm.
See through my plain Jane facade,
May be I'm interesting, in a different way
It was her… Jheel...
Date: 15 June 2010 Around midnight
Usually, find myself pondering a lot these days. (guess its obvious from what I write). So don’t be supprised to see a lot of stuff been written these days.
The Jheel in Hindi, means the Lake. (Refer the pic)
The lake usually has still water unless and until a ruffle is created. Unlike the sea, that swells, roars and lashes on the shore. Mighty Lord, that is quite a bit of expression that a sea can do when it wants to disagree, yell or just voice its opinion.
“Jheel” personifies a girl at the threshold of her life. Many have no choice but be like the Lake, which just reflects the sky and its surroundings. Display what the sky potrays, and never be able to be the Sea, which is independent and dominating.
Some time in childhood, we would have read the story of the river. It goes through many stages signifying its chirpy childhood, bubbly youth, serene adulthood and eventually getting what it yearned all through its life time, merging with her love, the Ocean.
“Jheel” can never dream the life of the River. She is isolated, locked by the land on all sides and being constantly watched by the sky. Isn’t it reminiscent of being surrounded by society from all sides and the onlookers? Always being told what to do and what not, dictating terms to “Jheel” and she would not have no say in it.
There is little “Jheel” can do about the situation, but while away the time by longing for the unreachable Moon. Wait for him to go the full circle and then glisten in his radiance. It’s like that forbidden love that she will always desire for. Long for him in her quite moments but be silent of her emotions.
I’m sure you would have seen the Jheel’s beauty in the reflection of what others see in her. But her depth is unknown. Is it what is buried under her calm surface the reason for her beauty? Or it’s just her ability to remain unruffled under any circumstance that men fall for her. No… may be it’s her mysterious ways that attract them to her.
Like her eyes, Jheel, the lady I saw the other day, reflecting the people around her but still waiting for that day to live her dram moment of attaining the improbable. That the moon will be hers and she his.
The Void… The Anxiety…
From my diary dated 3-June-2010
Last night was one of those terrible nights, which scare me. I would never
want it to occur in my life again or for that matter, any one that I know.
Loneliness is such a strange feeling.
In a crowd, but still isolated,
With All, but still on your own,
All friends, but still by yourself.
Sigh! A strange void is created in one's life. What is stranger is that NO
ONE can fill that vacuum.
In an effort to balance yourself, you also realise that every body has
their own life to live.
Along with loneliness comes the FEAR…
Fear of vulnerability and the fear of betrayal
Fear of loosing someone and the fear of trusting any one again.
Fear of dependability and the fear that you might barge into someone else's
space
The worst is yet to come… or has the worst also passed.
The Aura of HaPpInEsS
Its been a long time since I’ve felt so happy. Strange to note that some things are very trivial to make u happy.
Yes! Happiness is in all the small things that you can see, feel, smell, taste and hear. Its not the money, the position or some thing else that gets u happiness, but minute little stuff, that grabs your attention and may be transforms you into a kid who jus digged out his/her fav toy.
Happiness is in beautiful things.
Like that in the radiance of the moon of a full moon’s night,
Like that of a blossoming flower, and
Like that of an overflowing waterfall.
Happiness is in the sight,
Like that of a spectacular sunrise,
Like that of aspiring skyscrapers reaching out in the clouds, and
Like that of the mighty waves hitting the sea shore.
Happiness is in the innocence,
Like in the sparkle of your eye,
Like in the wide smile of a kid, and
Like in the care free sleep of a baby.
Happiness is in the flavour,
Like that of mother’s home cooked food,
Like that of ice crushed candy, and
Like that of melting of hot and piping cheese.
Happiness is in the feeling,
Like in the purity of the first rain drop,
Like in the warmth of the first rays of the Sun, and
Like in the moist dew on a fresh green leaf.
Happiness is in hearing the sound,
Like that of chirping birds,
Like that of the roaring laughter of the old blokes, and
Like the tinkling of the enticing anklets.
Happiness is in the warmth ,
Like that of a cosy cuddle,
Like that of snuggling in his arms, and
Like that touch which rekindles you.
Happiness is in EVERYTHING,
Like that in expression, impression
Like that in the air and aroma, and
Like that in the melody and relish.
I wish I could garner some more thoughts and metaphors for love. Hope to write about my Confucius encounter with LOVE… Soon!!
Labels: flavour, Happines, melody, senses, sight, warmth
Glittering view from the flight window
From my diary - Dt. 20-Oct-2009
I usually kid my friends that i've become a frequent flyer these days and am loyal to those who offer to take me home in 5 k :)
This time, I was returning to Bombay after an extended Diwali weekend. It was a close call. I reached the counter jus before they announced boarding. "Phew!", I sighed and took my window seat on board. As the flight awaited take off, I started shuffling through the pages of the in-flight magazine.
A few moments later, I realized that we had taken off and the lights of the city were glowing. The clover leave flyover actually caught my eye. The city was glowing with so many lights on! I was completely awestruck for a few moments. I could tack which major road I was flying over.
Suddenly I was a string of high rise buildings draped in lights. It had to be the super stores (Jewellery / clothing) on Usman Road, the hub of Chennai shopping. Thanks to their efforts to mark out their emblems on the roof top with bright colours, I could identify most of the stores, right from GRT to Saravana Stores.
Man!! It was an amazing sight. As we went higher, the images became miniscule. There again! I spotted the pool of a prominent 4 star hotel further down in sparkling blue. Slowly, it started emerging as a model map of a city as the major structured and arterial roads brightly lit throughout and the fast moving vehicles zooming past the smaller roads.
I know of many people who dislike Chennai, but believe me, this sight would have captivated one and all.
That reminds me of favourite sight from the window of an airplane. We were coming from Malaysia to Chennai and it was a morning flight. As we approached Chennai, we were entering the city from the sea side. Wow! Marina beach looked magnificent as usual. But to view the entire stretch at one go would have been possible only at this height and that sight was enthralling. As we moved in, I crossed the magestic kapaleswar temple, looked over one of the many multi star hotel enroute the city business centre. I could clearly see the city in miniature, movely slowly but steadily. As I was writing this on board, on a piece of paper, we approached Bombay.
Well, it's a city that never sleeps. The view was partly obstructed as it was foggy. I'm sure the smoke from the firecrackers will take the credit. But, what could clearly be noticed was the port. The illumination, kind of, distinctly marked the land and water.
I don't know Bombay as closely I know Chennai. But, it is definitely vast. I wish to see the Bandra Worli sea link (aerial view) some time during the day. And I also wish to have access to GPS as I fly over Bombay just to know where I am, to be precise, which place I'm.
Oh! I think I flew over it, but I can't confirm
And here we land…
A long dark night, some time in life...
In my childhood, I was asked, "Who is more dear to you? Mom or Dad?". To that I replied, "Both". "No, if you had to choose one?", countered my relative. "I love my parents equally, blind by one eye or two is still blind. My parents are like my eyes. I can't do without either of them", i
replied. Mom was really proud when she overheard this conversation. Many years later she recollected and said, that even she couldn't think of a reply like that.
Today, I stand blind and yet alive. It's like being blindfolded and you have to activate your other senses to survive. But what would you do if they exercise their right of refusal?
Today I stand in dark wilderness, staring at the dark sky, hoping for shooting star or for the dawn to break after a long dark night.
Suddenly, it feels as if I've landed on some desert with no respite. As if I have to live in isolation, with a bar on communication. Suddenly, everybody around you looks like a stranger. Frantically, trying to search for face that is known, whom I could hold, get that secure hug. A hug, that will assure me of better times tomorrow. A cosy corner where I could spend endless time and yet not be worried about anything, past, present or future. That comfort zone, where I know I can be pampered but not spoilt.
First time in my life, I wanted to ask why for which I would not get any answer. Why do you get used to people so much that you feel handicapped when you loose them? Why is that I had to loose them all in installments such that they would never return? Why did they restrain me from making new relationships? Why did they create such a huge vacuum that you existence
and identity seems meaningless, pointless, aimless?
What more do i have to loose yet another day, as i stand understand empty handed under the moonless sky.
Labels: blind, dark night, helpless, sorrow
